Quick Write -- National Let's Laugh Day

March 19 is National Let's Laugh Day, and in the midst of the challenges of COVID-19, I thought it would be helpful for students to think of something funny.  Here are some of their submissions:

“I swallowed a dictionary and it gave me thesaurus throat I had ever had.”

I like grammar.

Hahahaha, wasn't that a great joke?! I actually don't mind grammar, but I still thought it would be funny to do that.

OK here's an actual joke: It's hard to do through email but it will be fine. It's a knock knock joke, but you need to start it.

You: Knock knock

Me: Who's there?

Escalators don’t break down, they turn into stairs.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.

I intend to live forever… Or die trying.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A blind man walked into a bar… And a table, and a chair.

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog he was adopted.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

I think my favorite joke is a bar joke. While not all bar jokes are appropriate this one is gold. It all starts when a man walks into a bar. He sits next to a man and orders a beer. After about thirty minutes the men start to talk. As they learn more about each other, they start to get curious. They both start to feel like they know one another. Then one of them says “there’s no chance that you went to saint peters class of 1987?” The other says “well it just happens that I did.” They both are dumbfounded and continue to inquire about one another. Then one says “what if we were neighbors? Did you grow up on applewood street?” The other says “well man, it seems so.” They continue to keep asking one another questions about their past getting more and more flabbergasted. Then finally the bartender says to a waiter “it’s gonna be a long night.” The waiter says “why? Seems fine to me.” The bartender says “The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

National Let’s Laugh Day

The Problem people find the most trying from a dog is the struggle to prevent them from eating your shoes. Dogs chew on shoes, on squeaky toys and tug-of-war ropes, but not our new puppy. She smells your shoes and sniffs the dog toys but she does not play with them. The objects that Nutmeg finds most enticing are not these average doggy play things but dirty socks, cardboard boxes and clean towels folded and left on the floor. She picks up the towel with her teeth and tosses it into the air. Nutmeg sneaks into the laundry room and takes the old socks, she then brings them into the living room and will tear them apart if you do not catch her in time. 

Dear Somebody…

(dear somebody, this joke is only simple logic so you might not get it, try to follow along.)

-How many elephants can you fit in a Mini Cooper?            

        Four. Two in the front two in the back. 

-How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?                              

        There are tracks in the butter.

-How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?     

        They giggle when the light goes out.

 -How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?          

        The door won’t close right.

-How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?           

        There is a Mini Cooper parked out front…

(dear somebody, at some point in the joke you may have been distracted wondering about how the elephants got into the fridge or what kind of food the elephants are squashing. Please try not to think about it or ask questions because I don’t know ether.)

-How many Giraffes can you fit in a Mini Cooper?                             

        None, the elephants are already in there.

 (dear somebody, on a little side note, if you are lost, then you might want to stop reading right now. Trust me. It’s just simple logic… actually on second thought keep reading… it will educate you.)

-Why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees?   

        Because they are so good at it!

 (dear somebody, please don’t go looking up into trees to find elephants to bring home as a pet. You won’t find them… trust me… you will probably also run into a lot of things and get hurt. Try not to do that.)

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?      

        Time to get a new fence…

(dear somebody, if this ever happens to you in the future. Use some stronger materials like stone… even better use concrete to remake your fence. Also, elephants are deterred by elephant repellent so spray an entire can of the stuff on the top of the fence. You can call this number to get a can of your own elephant repellent. 1800-REP-ELL-ENT. Better luck next time.)

Sincerely, With Love, Cordially, Tootles, See you Later, etc., etc., etc.

Me