Essay Rewrite

Essay Rewrite

Definition

The purpose of this essay is to improve editing skills by rewriting a previously written essay.  Effective editing is a step-by-step process.  One key is to re-read a paper multiple times, looking for only one kind of error at a time.

Editing Plan

As you re-read your paper, look for any errors in the following areas:

·       Complete sentences:  Each sentence should have a subject, verb, and a complete thought.  Look for incomplete and run-on/comma splice sentences.

·       Parallel Constructions:  Faulty parallel construction leads to unclear and awkward sentences.

·       There are/is/was/will be, etc.:  Any sentences with this type of construction must be changed.

·       Punctuation:  Pay close attention to commas and ending punctuation.

·       Agreement:  Make sure all subjects and verbs agree; also look for noun/pronoun agreement.

·       Spelling:  With the spell check function for most word processing software, this is not as much of a problem as it used to be.  However, your computer will not know if you’ve put the wrong word in, or it may autocorrect and change the word from the one you intended.

·       Paragraph construction:  Each paragraph must have a main idea.  Make sure that all of the thoughts expressed in the paragraph are part of that main idea.  Do any sentences need to be moved to another paragraph?  Does the paragraph need to be divided into smaller paragraphs?

·       Organization:  Is the overall organization of the paper logical?  Does each point lead to the next?  Should it be rearranged?

·       Content:  The essay should give sufficient information to support your thesis. Have you included enough background information?  Have you satisfactorily covered the material?  As you re-read, look for ways to expand your essay.  Also, note any information that seems unnecessary. 

Thesis Development

Your essay should have a clearly defined thesis that you explain and support.  Sometimes a thesis is simple and straightforward; sometimes they are more complex.  Your reader should never be confused as to your topic and your decided opinion or stand on that topic.    

Additional Assignment

Along with a revised and improved version of a previous essay, the following are also to be included:

–  Thesis Statement

–  One paragraph entitled “What I’ve Learned as a Writer this Year.”  (100 – 200 words) This paragraph can include thoughts about grammar and mechanics, organization, thesis development, sentence structures, etc.

Essay Guidelines

– Due date:  May 1 (Week 14)

– Essay length:  500 – 700 words (between 2 and 4 pages)

– Additional work:  Thesis statement and a paragraph about what you’re learned as a writer.

– Final draft format:

– Typed (if this is not possible, please let me know)

– 1 inch margins

– Name and date on the upper right hand corner

– Number the pages on the lower right hand corner

– Title centered above the text of the essay

Spring Writing Test

Spring Writing Test

I.      Correct the faulty parallel construction in the sentences below.  (2 pt. each)

1.           Today I will tidy up the bedroom, the living room, and wallpaper the cat.

2.           Mary likes to hike, swimming, and her bicycle.

3.           The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed manner.

4.           The dictionary can be used to find these: word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and looking up irregular verbs.

5.           To write well and listening well are important communication skills. 

6.           Remind Mark to go to the store, the bank, and see if the laundry is ready.

7.           If we ever have another snow day, I will bake cookies, bread, build a fire in the fireplace, and read.

II.   Fix the following incomplete, run-on or comma splice sentences.  Some sentences may need to be split, and some may need combining.  (2 pt. each)

1.      When the fisherman looked up.  He nodded and smiled pleasantly.

2.      Jim did not know the man.  Fishing on the end of the pier.

3.      The old man replied.  His eyes beaning kindly.

4.      However, he was curious.  Which was only natural.

5.      Everyone looked up in the sky above us was an airplane.

6.      If you follow directions will go far with your writing.

7.      Those in Minnesota want spring to come the Narnians were also waiting for the snow to leave.

III.             Rewrite the following sentences to get rid of the passive “there is/are/will be/was, etc.” construction. (3 pt. each)

1.       There are some cookies in the kitchen.  My mother made them because there will be a meeting at our house tonight.

2.      Last year there were five students in the class who wanted to be class president.  Not all of them were qualified.

3.      Because there is ice cream in the freezer, we had milk shakes after school.

4.      There is another storm coming.  We must get to the store to stock up on junk food.

Spring Grammar Test

Spring Grammar Test

Punctuate the following sentences with the necessary commas.  (50 points)

1.           If the ground hog sees his shadow on February 2there will be six weeks more of winter.

2.           Napoleon Emperor of France sold the Louisiana Territory for fifteen million dollars.

3.           “Alaska was purchased from Russia in 1867 ” the teacher said.

4.           My new running shoes which coast more than a hundred dollars fell apart during the race.

5.           The clock which had been ticking very loudly burst a spring and flew off the wall.

6.           Whenever you go go quickly.

7.           No you may not have an extension on your homework assignment.

8.           I told her not to eat the fresh bread but she didn’t pay attention because she was so hungry.

9.           It was midnight but it did not seem so late so we went out for dinner.

10.       Although we have freedom of speech in our country we cannot make false statements about others.

11.       One day Joshua caught a pike a bass and a sunfish.

12.       The constellation the Little Dipper has a Latin name Ursa Minor. 

13.       “Let’s do this together “ I urged. 

14.       I lent some money to Earl whose house was destroyed in the flood.

15.       I am going to bed and I am planning on reading this book.

16.       Denise was upset that she could not go to London but she chose to save her money in order to pay for college.

17.       Why we expected him to win the election.

18.       What is right is right.

19.       Well the decision has been made and we have to live with it.

20.       She wanted to go to bed and read her new book but she didn’t realize that it had fallen behind the sofa.

21.       She did not eat the cookies nor did she eat the candy.

22.       John Wayne who appeared in over 200 movies was the biggest box-office attraction of his time.

23.       He said “Sound takes about five seconds to go a mile.”

24.       Zeus the greatest of the Greek gods was known as Jupiter by the Romans

25.       If you visit Washington you will see the Declaration of Independence.

26.       Before my aunt came from Chicago we bought tickets to the community play because I was in it.

27.       Aesop the famous story teller lived in Greece.

28.       Asia Africa and North America are the three largest continents.

29.       Jack is going to the movie about World War II so he may be home late because it a three hour long movie.

30.       Driving home from the party Paul and I got lost.

31.       Feeling sick Debbie complained about going to school and her mother let her stay home.

32.       Melissa was sick so she left the party early. 

33.       Because I hardly studied I know nothing about commas.

34.       Did Mom go to the concert or did Dad go alone? 

35.       Discovering the book under the chair she went to the den and read until dinner time. 

36.       When I couldn’t find the cookies I ate an apple but my brother ate some candy. 

37.       If you work hard you will be a “Master of the Comma.” 

Writing 1 Class Notes -- April 24 (Week 13)

Greetings!

We covered a lot in class this week.  As we near the end of the semester, we'll do more reviewing and "winding down" with regards to our material and activities.  For the the Quick Write this week, I asked the students to respond to the following question:  "Would you rather fly or be invisible?  Why?"  Students chose either one or both or neither.  

Our Latin Phrases were

de facto -- in reality/fact (this phrase is used when a situation may appear to be one way, but "in reality" is different)

de gustibus non est disputandum -- There's no accounting for one's taste.  (literally, "about taste there is no dispute)

Dei gratia -- by the grace of God

They handed in their News Story essays along with their rough drafts, thesis statement, reasons for 5 corrections and reverse outline.  (If any of these items were missing, they can still e-mail them to me by the Saturday.)  Our final writing assignment for this class is an Essay Rewrite of a previous essay.  We talked at length about how to choose the essay to rewrite.  In the handout I gave them, they have a list of steps for editing.  They should consider the final drafts of their previously written essays to be the "rough draft" for this assignment.  When they hand in their re-writes, I also want them to hand in those "rough drafts."  In addition to the papers, I want them to hand in on a separate piece of paper their thesis statements and another paragraph entitled, "What  I've Learned as a Writer this Year."  This paragraph can include specific grammar and writing strategies but should also be a thoughtful reflection about their own growth as writers.

Of our Poetry selections, we chose John Milton's "On His Blindness" to discuss in length.  This poem explores the poet's impending blindness, his sense of value, and God's perspective.  It was a wonderful vehicle for reminding the students that God's love and value for us is not dependent on our abilities which He gave us in the first place.  For next week, they are to choose poems for a Poetry Recitation.  These can be poems from the book or from another source.  It can also be an original.  The only guideline is that it must be at least 8 lines long. 

For the last 30 minutes of the class, we got to the part that they had been somewhat dreading throughout the class:  the Grammar and Writing Tests.  We completed the grammar test in class, and the writing portion is to be done at home.  The grammar test was only on proper comma placement since that was the area on which we focused for most of this semester.  The writing test requires them to fix some poorly written sentences.  The first question on the writing test was bugging some of the students (I took it from a an exercise book.)  They can change whatever they want to make it more pleasing.

On the last day of class, we will have a final Final Exam, of sorts.  I know it's a bit unconventional, but I use a Bingo game to review our literature, grammar, and writing strategies.  I will supply a large selection of prizes, but I'd also like them to each bring in a "Bingo prize" to share.  It can be a "White Elephant" and should be wrapped.  We'll discuss this a little more next week.

Assignments for Next Week

-- Essay Rewrite which includes

     -- copy of previously written essay

     -- thesis statement

     -- paragraph entitled,  "What  I've Learned as a Writer this Year."

-- Choose a poem to recite in class

This week's blogs

Spring Grammar Test

Spring Writing Test

Essay Rewrite

We may finally be able to put away the winter coats and boots this weekend!

Have a great week,

Mrs. Prichard

Grammar Review for Week 13 Quiz

Next Week, we'll have a quiz/test to review some of the grammar we've covered this year in Writing 2.  Be prepared for questions and exercises that deal with the following topics:

Compound sentences
FANBOYS
Comma Usage:  introductory elements, restrictive clauses, appositives, parenthetical comments, items in a series, in addresses and dates
Period Usage
Semicolon Usage
Colon Usage
Pronoun/ Noun agreement
Parallel construction

Writing 1 Class Notes -- April 17 (Week 12)

Greetings!

We had a good class this week.  For the Quick Write, the students wrote responses to the following prompt:  See how many adverbs you can come up with to modify the verb in the following sentence: 'I _______ wrote  my research paper in twenty minutes.' "  They came up with quite a variety of words.

Our Latin phrases this week were:

caveat emptor -- Let the buyer beware.

cave canem -- Beware the dog.

cf. or confer -- to compare (often used in scholarly texts)

I handed back the rough drafts of their News Stories.  We spent quite a bit of class time going over common errors found in the papers.  As I've said before, one of the best ways to learn grammar is as a student is writing.  Otherwise, grammar and mechanics are just theory.  For their final drafts, I would like them to write a "reverse outline."  This kind of outline is written after the rough draft is written but before the final draft is completed. It's a helpful tool because it gives the writer a sense his organization, especially if there are any flaws.

We talked over some Poetry this week by Gerard Manly Hopkins and Robert Browning. I hadn't mentioned it to them, but April is National Poetry Month; in fact, Thursday, April 18, was "Poem in Your Pocket Day."  

Assignments for Next Week:

-- Read the following from the poetry book:

     Shakespeare (p.1); Donne (p. 2); Jonson (p.3); Quarles (p. 4); (Carew (p 5); Milton (p. 5)

     No poetry worksheets

-- Final Draft of News Story, including

     Reverse Outline

     Final Copy

     Thesis Statement

     5 Reasons for Corrections

     Citations

This week's blog:

Class Notes

Have a great week!

Mrs. Prichard

Poetry Worksheet

Title of Poem:  ___________________                Author:  ____________________________

1. What is the dramatic situation of the poem? (What is taking place literally?)

  

2. Who is the speaker in the poem? (Or, at least, what do we know about him/her?)

  

3. To whom is he or she speaking? Who is the audience of the poem?

  

4. Where is the setting of the poem? Where is the speaker? When does it take place?

  

5. What is a possible theme of the poem?

  

6. Why does the speaker feel compelled to speak out?

  

7. What kinds of patterns are there in the poem? Does the poem rhyme? Does it have a particular rhythm?

  

8. How does the poet use language? Is it elevated or fancier language? Is it more vernacular, colloquial, or casual? Does the poet use a particular dialect or accent?

  

9. What is the tone (mood) of the poem at the beginning, at the end, and overall?

Writing 1 Class Notes -- April 10 (Week 11)

Greetings!

We had a good class this week.  The students were payed close attention during the instruction and engaged in discussion about our literature.  The Quick Write prompt had 2 parts:  1) "My favorite number is ______ because ________." and 2) Write a formula for something/anything.  We talked about how formulas are like recipes for numbers.  Again, they were quite creative.  

The Latin phrases for today might be familiar to some parents:  circa (about/ around); cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am.); and compos mentis (of sound/composed mind).  

We've finished our O. Henry stories; I hope they have enjoyed them as much as I have.  We're now reading from Great Short Poems, a collection of American and British poetry.  In addition to reading Langston Hughes's classic poem, "The Negro Speaks of Rivers," we took a lengthy time to discuss one of my personal favorites:  "The Red Wheelbarrow."  At first glance, this doesn't seem to have much umph -- one student even called it "lame."  William Carlos Williams wrote this as an imagist poem intending, in part, to activate our senses. Below is a copy of the poem.  What do you see, hear, feel, or smell as you think about the image Williams is painting with words?  (We decided that our sense of taste wasn't really called on for this poem.)

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends

upon

a red wheel

barrow

glazed with rain

water

beside the white

chickens

We're continuing to discuss Punctuation, and I presented to them the uses for the semicolon and the colon.  They were to take notes, which will help them prepare for an end of the semester grammar test.  Already curious about what will be on the test, I assured them that it wouldn't be too hard.  I'll put on the test the punctuation information that we've discussed along with some material from last semester.  

They handed in their rough drafts for their News Stories.  We ran out of time to discuss how to cite sources from which they've gotten some of their information.  We'll cover that next week.

Assignments for Next Week:

-- Read the poems from the following poets:  

     Wordsworth:  I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud; My Heart Leaps Up; She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways

     Elizabeth Browning:  How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways;

     Robert Browning:  Meeting at Night; Parting at Morning; Pippa's Song

     Bronte:  The Old Stoic

     Hopkins:  Pied Beauty; God's Grandeur;"No Worst, There Is None"

     -- Note:  We will discuss the Wordsworth and Hopkins poems

-- Fill out both sides of the 2 poetry worksheets.  One poem per side.

-- Review notes taken in class about the period, semicolon, and colon.

Last week's blogs:

Class Notes(Week 10)

10 uses of the Period

This week's blogs

Class Notes (Week 11)

4 uses of the semicolon

10 uses of the colon

It appears that winter wants a "do-over."  Stay safe and keep warm!

Mrs. Prichard

10 Uses for the Colon

One of my favorite grammar resources is Grammar Girl.  She gives "Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing."  Her comments and instruction are brief, concise, and to the point.  On her page for colons, she quotes a book, Punctuate it Right, as saying that the author calls it the mark of expectation or addition because the colon signals that what comes next is directly related to the previous sentence.  One of the key points to remember is that you use colons only after statements that are complete sentences.  Never use a colon after a sentence fragment.  A colon is used to indicate a list but also for miscellaneous uses.

10 Uses for the Colon

1.  Use a colon after an independent clause to tell the reader that a list will follow.
     Ex.  She brought her school supplies to class:  notebooks, pens, and textbooks.
            His writing teacher explained to him how he could improve:  write, write, write.

2.  Use a colon to introduce something that the independent clause preceding it has promised by has not yet delivered.  Colons deliver material hinted at previously or gives asnwers to questions the reader has after reading the words before it.
     Ex.  We finally understood why we couldn't communicate:  he talked to much, and I never listened.

3.  Use a colon before a series of items.
     Ex.  As we put the program together, we asked ourselves:  Who is the audience?  What do they need to know?  How many people will attend?

4.  A colon is used before a quotation that is referred to in the preceding independent clause.  It is included as a part of the sentence.
     Ex.  "Was it Patrick Henry who said this:  'Give me liberty or give me death.'?"

5.  After an independent clause, a colon is often used to lead into a direct quotation.
     Ex.  The sign on the grocery store read:  "Ample parking in the back."

6.   Use the colon in salutations in formal letters to those you don't know very well.
     Ex.  Dear Mr. Downhill:          Dear Dr. Overhill:          Sirs: 

7.  Colons are used for ratios.
     Ex.  a ratio of 12:1          a slim margin of 6:5

8.  A colon separates a title from a subtitle.
     Ex.  Plain English:  Grammar for Dummies          Pirates of the Caribbean:  Dead Man's Chest

9.  A colon separates chapters and verses in biblical references.
     Ex.  Luke 4: 31 - 44           Genesis 2: 6 - 9

10.  Bibliographies require a colon between the city in which the book was published and the publishing company.
     Ex.  New York:  Random House, 2001.          Boston:  Little, Brown, 1998.

Remember this general rule:  If a full sentence comes after your colon, capitalize the first letter in that sentence.  If a list or a fragment comes after your colon, do not capitalize the first word.

 

4 Uses for the Semicolon

People who use the semicolon correctly may appear to be more skilled and mature than their counterparts.  The well-placed semicolon says, "I know what I'm doing."









4 Uses for the Semicolon

1.  Use the semicolon to join independent/main clauses.  Individual sentences (independent clauses) can be joined in two ways.  Firstly, you can use a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) and a comma. (Ex.  I like to read, and she likes to write.)  Another method of joining two sentences is with a semicolon.  (Ex.  I like to read; she likes to write.  Sentences joined with semicolons should be closely related, and the writer wants to combine the two complete thoughts into one.
     Note:  In class, I have compared joining two sentences into one using the semicolon with a Reeces's peanut butter cup.  You have two distinct flavors that combine in one mouthful of delicious goodness.

2.  Use the semicolon to join independent clauses when you want to use transitional elements like furthermore, however, moreover, etc.  Transition words are not required to use the semicolon (see #1.)  Using semicolons with transition words helps you to move smoothly between ideas.  You can use conjunctive adverbs (ex. also, anyway, besides, finally, however, nevertheless, therefore, consequently, etc.) or transition phrases (ex.  as a result, for example, in fact, in other words, in summary, on the other hand, etc.)
     Ex.  Elizabeth was sick; otherwise, she would have been in class.

3.  Semicolons are used when linking lists after a colon when the items in the list are phrases or have internal punctuation.
     Ex.  I had a great breakfast:  eggs with spinach, onions, and peppers; hickory-cured bacon; pancakes with blueberries from Maine; Belgian waffles, my mother's signature recipe;  and quick-cooked grits made with garlic and cheddar cheese.

4.  Semicolons join a short series of sentences.
     Ex.  I came; I saw; I conquered.
            One flew east; one rode west; one hid in the barn.

PS.  I love it when writing and math collide!

10 Uses for the Period

“...punctuation marks are the traffic signals of language: they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop.” 
― Lynne Truss "Eats Shoots Leaves"

One of my goals for the class this semester has been to make them "Masters of the Comma."  That elusive little bit of punctuation causes the most trouble in their writing.  Contrary to popular opinion, you don't just throw one in every time you would pause or take a breath.  We have some pretty clear guidelines about its usage that also involves knowing more about other grammar topics.

The period, on the other hand, is much more straightforward.  Below are the 10 uses for the period.  And, yes, there will be a test on these.

1.  Place a period at the end of a declarative sentence, at the end of an indirect questions, and at the end of an imperative sentence that does not express strong emotion.

2.  Place a period after a request.  A question mark is not used.

        Ex.  May I have your opinion on the subject.

3.  Place a period after an abbreviation that stands for a single word.

     Ex.  John Jones and Co.          Mrs. Jameson

            Jan. 6                               Wireless, Inc.

     Note:  The trend is to eliminate periods in abbreviations, especially in measurements:

          lb or lb.          hr or hr.          oz or oz.          mph or m.p.h.          yd or yd.

     Note:  When the last word in a sentence is abbreviated, one period will suffice.

          Ex.  We plan to meet at 9 a.m.

     Note:  Before a colon or semicolon, the period for an abbreviation is omitted.

          Ex.  The instructions came from Fox Bros. Ltd:  Never use the materials without the proper equipment.

                 

4.  Periods are used after initials representing full names. (ex.  John Q. Smith) For some famous names, the periods may be omitted. (ex.  FDR, JFK)  In monograms periods are always omitted.

5.  Place periods after letters or figures in an outline when they mark the chief division of a subject.  Omit the periods when the letters or figures are in parentheses.  Periods are also used when making lists with either numbers or letters.

     Ex.  I.

              A.

                  1.

                     a.

                        (1)

                            (a)

6.  Place a period before a decimal.

     Ex.  $20.58          .05          12.6           .8398798

7.  A period may be used in place of the colon when denoting hours and minutes or in dates

     Ex.  10.15 for 10:15          4.03.13 for 4-3-13 or 4/3/13

8.  Place a period inside the parentheses when they enclose an independent sentence.

     Ex.  The firm was founded a few years ago.  (I am not sure about the exact date.)

9.  Use three periods separated by spaces to denote an omission in quoted matter.  When the omission occurs at the end of a sentence, the sentence period is retained as well.  Use seven periods spaced across the page to denote the omission of one or more paragraphs of quoted material.

     Ex.  Henry Clay declared that the proposal was agreeable . . . if respectable and efficient.

10.  Periods are used in web addresses and e-mails.

     Ex.  myname@funmail.com          www.google.com

  

Writing 1 Class Notes -- April 3 (Week 10)

Greetings!

Rumor has it that it's snowed in Minnesota.  I"m spending a long weekend in Florida where it's sunny, and the beach is wonderful. Hopefully the snow will be short-lived and we, too, will have some warmth and sunshine.  Because I'm on a "vacation," my Class Notes will be brief:

Quick Write:  Taken from a Story Starters book, the prompt was "This is just awful," said the detective as the stormed moved closer.

Latin Phrases:  beati pacifici (blessed are the peacemakers); casus belli (cause of war); carpe diem (seize the day)

Grammar:  We discussed 10 uses for the period (.).  I'm working our way through various bits of punctuation, and we will have a test in 3 weeks.

Literature:  The students had been assigned "The Ransom of Red Chief" and another O. Henry story of their choosing.  "Ransom" is one of my family's favorite read-aloud stories which, like all of the stories from this selection, has an unexpected ending.  They were given their next books, Great Short Poems.

Writing:  We discussed again their next essay which is a news story.  They may need to do some research for this.  We will talk next week about how to cite the books, websites, or periodicals from which they've gotten information.  For now, I've told them to keep track of where they get their information.

Assignments for Next Week:

-- Write the rough draft of the News Story

-- Review Uses for the comma notes from class.

-- Read the poetry by Langston Hughes, Robert Frost, and William Carlos Williams.

-- Extra Credit:  Memorize the Williams song.

I hope I didn't forget anything.  I'll enjoy the sunshine and ocean here in Florida while you do your best to enjoy your snow!

Blessings,
Mrs. Prichard